In the Closet
by Deathangel125
Summary: A painful conversation between Heero and Duo brings up some new information from Trowa


Disclaimers: Not mine. I wish they were, but sadly, they belong to someone else with a lot more money than I.

Pairings: Past 1x2, 3+2

Warnings: There be men in them there hills, doing things they shouldn't be. If you don't like it, don't read it. Yaoi, with a dash of lime.

AN: Enjoy! Feedback always appreciated. Btw, the title is not what it sounds like, trust me.

IN THE CLOSET

"You and Trowa aren't a couple?"

Duo blinked, lifting his eyes from his book to frown at the man sitting across the table. Since he wasn't really sure how to explain the odd relationship he had with the tall, quiet man, he shook his head, "We aren't a couple." That much he was certain of, at least. "He lets me live at his house in exchange for doing the chores. I wash dishes and clothes, cook, that sort of thing. With him working so much he doesn't have time to do basic housework, and I don't work so I don't have the money to find my own place right now. It's a good arrangement for both of us."

Cobalt blue eyes fixed on him intensely, making Duo squirm. "So if you had another option, would you move?"

Unable to keep his mind on his studies with thoughts of Trowa bouncing in his brain, Duo closed his book and focused all his attention on Heero. "I don't know. It's pretty convenient for both of us, and he really does need the help. The Preventers keep him damn busy most of the time, on this and that. If he didn't have some help, Trowa might forget to eat supper." After taking a sip of his milkshake, Duo laid his arms on the tabletop. "What's with all the questions lately, Heero? Trying to get me outta the way so you can have Trowa, or what?" Duo managed to hide the pain he felt as he made the inquiry, hoping that wasn't what was going on.

Blue eyes widened slightly. "I don't want Trowa. I was curious." Patiently, Duo waited, feeling there was more. Eventually, Heero sighed, "If you had another option, would you think about it?"

"I guess so, but I don't have another option, so it's pointless."

"Move in with me." Heero's face reddened when Duo gawped at him, continuing after a moment. "You could move in with me and have the same deal you do with Trowa. You could do chores and live rent-free, and it's closer to school."

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"

"It isn't sudden, Duo. I've been thinking about it for a long time." Heero's expression was solemn as his hand covered Duo's, resting on the table. "I never could forget about you. I know I messed up, but I can be the man you want me to be now. I can give you anything you want, and I have more free time than Trowa, so we could spend it together. I want to be with you again, Duo."

Pulling his hand away, Duo curled it around the strap of his bag. "You can't expect me to believe that, can you? You think I should listen after you hurt me last time? I asked you for one thing, and you couldn't give it to me."

"I love you."

Duo froze, stunned by the three words he had desperately wanted to hear before. Hurt and bewildered, he shook his head and rose from the seat hastily. "I have to go."

His hand was captured just outside the door. Reluctantly, he turned to face the other man. "Promise me you'll at least think about it, Duo," Heero pled softly. "I swear I can get it right this time. Please promise me," he repeated, pulling the braided man closer.

Mere inches separated them when Duo realized what was happening. Jerking his hand away, he couldn't believe he had nearly fallen under Heero's spell…again. Taking a number of steps away, he lowered his eyes to the sidewalk. "I'll think about it, but that's all I'll promise, Heero. Four years is a long time."

"That's all I'll ask of you, for now."

Retreating quickly, Duo hurried his pace down the sidewalk, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Heero as possible. "Can you believe the nerve? How dare he say something like that to me after all this time?" Realizing he was talking to himself – loudly – he thought it wise to keep his mouth shut until he got home.

His cell phone ringing had him making an abrupt stop. "What?" he demanded, irritated his thoughts were being disturbed further.

"You promised to think about it, Duo. Don't forget that."

"I made that promise five minutes ago, Heero. I don't think I've had time to forget." Curiosity got the best of him. "Why now, Heero? It's been four years, and over a year since I came back to earth. Why bring this up now?"

"I tried to forget about you, but couldn't. When I found out you coming back to school here, I wanted to ask you to stay with me, but Trowa beat me to it. I assumed you were a couple, but wasn't sure when I saw you together. I decided to talk to you about it; once I made sure you weren't a couple. I want you with me, Duo."

Reaching the house Trowa owned, Duo stopped on the small porch, not yet going inside. "I'll give it some thought, okay? I just really don't know if it's a good idea. I'll talk to you later, Heero." He hung up without waiting for a reply and sat on the top step, phone clasped loosely in his hand.

It was so easy to remember the fights they had gotten into while living together, the worst of which being the last, where Duo had asked Heero how he felt. Heero hadn't been able to give a sufficient answer, saying only that they were good friends. Since they had been living together for two years and sleeping together for at least three, Duo had been deeply hurt. Two days after that fight, he had made the trip to L3 to study medicine, changing his school from the one on earth in the middle of the semester, causing him to be behind for weeks. It had taken over a month of continuous study before he had been able to catch up with his classmates.

When offered a full scholarship from the very school he had originally transferred from, Duo had agonized over the decision, until he had literally run into Trowa while the tall man had been taking some time off from a Preventers case that had brought him to the colony. Duo had found himself telling the emerald-eyed man everything, all the way to the decision he was stressing over.

At first, Duo had turned down Trowa's offer of a rent-free home. However, when the tall man had patiently explained how it would benefit both of them, Duo had reconsidered. After moving back to earth, and into Trowa's spare bedroom, he had realized how grateful he was for the opportunity, and his work was fairly easy, leaving him with plenty of time to study and reconnect with the friends he had left behind, including his former lover. Trowa was, by nature, a neat person, so Duo didn't have much to do in the way of cleaning. Two or three loads of clothes a week and cooking was all he really had to do, and he enjoyed the cooking. He enjoyed it more when Trowa cooked with him, but that was a different story.

It had come as a surprise that he and the tall former pilot got along so well. There had never been an argument between them, and Trowa was always courteous – if he had to work late and wouldn't be home in time for dinner, he always called ahead of time to let Duo know. If he had to go out of town for work, he let Duo know in advance, unlike Heero. Duo's favorite time of the day now was dinner, when they would eat together and discuss their days. Of course, Duo did most of the talking, although Trowa would occasionally be in a more talkative mood.

It had been a larger surprise to discover he had feelings for his quiet roommate. To Duo it seemed they had come out of the blue, hitting him one night while he was washing dishes. The discovery had been made when he realized he was fantasizing different scenarios that had them falling into bed together. The decision to keep his feelings hidden had come instantly. Trowa must never know how Duo felt, and Duo enjoyed each moment they shared, aware his time with the tall man was bound to come to an end much sooner than he wanted.

Realizing he wouldn't be able to think clearly until he had some time and distance from Heero, Duo stood and began to unlock the door, only to find it already unlocked. Eyes wide, he glanced into the driveway, not sure how he had missed Trowa's truck parked in its usual space. A glimpse at his watch shown he was much later than he had believed.

Shoving the door open, he hurried inside, almost running over his roommate in his haste. Hands held up, he backed up a step. "Sorry! I didn't see how late it was. I'll start supper right now."

Dropping his bag on the floor, he took his shoes off – he hated wearing them inside while Trowa had such thick, lush carpeting to dig his toes into – and ran for the kitchen. He was already standing with the fridge open when Trowa's voice had him lifting a brow. "We could order something, Duo. You don't have to cook every night."

"It's no problem, really. I don't mind, and it was part of the deal we made, right?"

An odd expression flashed across Trowa's face, quickly gone. "The deal, yes. Maybe it's time to renegotiate the terms of the deal. Just this once, order a pizza."

"I have all the stuff here to make pizza, Trowa. It won't take long." Bewildered by the other man's reaction, he added, "It'll be faster if you help, if you want to, I mean. I can do it myself if you don't. It's no big deal either way."

Horrified that he sounded like some babbling love-sick schoolgirl, Duo turned and began to get the ingredients he needed for pizza. The jar of sauce nearly slipped from his fingers when he heard a soft reply, "I'd like to help."

Setting the jar down carefully, he watched as Trowa rolled up his shirtsleeves and washed his hands. "You sure you don't mind?"

"You'll have to tell me what to do, but I'll help. I've helped before, Duo."

Heart beating rapidly, as it always did when Trowa was close, Duo demonstrated how to knead the dough and put the toppings on. Every time their hands would brush, his constant flow of words would falter for a moment, leaving him to cover each pause.

Sliding the pan into the oven, he glanced over at Trowa, who was washing his hands to remove the parmesan cheese that stubbornly clung to them. "Not that I don't appreciate the help, but why the sudden insistence we order out? You know I don't mind cooking. It's calming. I didn't realize you were interested in eating out more."

"You'd be surprised what I have an interest in," Trowa commented cryptically, drying his hands. Pulling a pack of clove cigarettes from his shirt pocket, he lit one, blowing out the sweet smelling smoke an instant later. Duo knew it was the one vice Trowa allowed himself, and it was a scent he would always associate with the tall man. "I thought since you've been studying so hard, it would be nice to have a break. You must be working hard to be so late today."

Duo almost fell into a well of guilt caused by those words. "Actually, I got out of class at the usual time."

"Trouble?"

"Ah, no. I - " the door bell ringing had him holding up a finger. "Let me see who that is."

Wondering how to tell Trowa where he had been, Duo went to the door. It wasn't a secret that Trowa and Heero weren't on the best of terms, although he had no idea why. When he left earth, the two had gotten along rather well. It had only been after his return that Duo had noticed how strained things were between them.

Yanking the door open, Duo could only stare at the man on the other side, looking back at him with a frown. "Heero, what are you doing here?"

"You left this at the diner," Heero held out an anatomy book.

"Oh, thanks. I have a test next week, so I'll need this." Duo took the book and hugged it to his chest, becoming instantly aware when Heero's eyes darted to something behind him and the tension grew palpable.

As Duo expected, Trowa spoke softly from behind him, "Heero."

The man in question gave a short nod. "Trowa. I was returning Duo's book. He forgot it after leaving the diner, where we met after his classes were over for the day. Isn't that right, Duo?"

Not understanding why the blue-eyed man felt the need to give such an extended explanation, Duo frowned. "Yes. Thanks for bringing it, Heero."

Cobalt eyes locked on him so abruptly that he jumped, "Have you thought about it? I meant what I said."

"It's only been a few hours, you know. I have a lot to think about."

"Duo has finals this week, Heero. He needs to focus on that, and that alone. Thank you for bringing his book. Good-night."

Duo could only gape, totally stunned as Trowa reached out and shut the door in Heero's face before calmly walking back to the kitchen. With no other option, Duo followed, slamming the book down on the counter. "What was that? I've never seen you be so rude."

"You were with him? That's why you were late?"

Taken back by the harsh tone, Duo froze. "No. Yes. It's complicated. I was with him after class, but I left early enough to get home on time. It took longer than I thought to get here, that's all. I was…thinking."

Trowa turned away, stabbing out his cigarette and saying nothing. Not sure how to handle the other man, Duo kept his voice soft. "I didn't want to pry – I mean, it's none of my business so you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened with you guys? You used to be friends and now it's like you hate each other. What was so bad you can't even be nice to each other now?"

Vivid green eyes met his for an instant, looking away just as fast. "That shouldn't be too hard to figure out, Duo. I'm going to take a shower before we eat."

Left alone, Duo tried to figure out some reason that would cause the animosity between the two men. It couldn't be work – Trowa was an agent for the Preventers and Heero the head of Relena's security detail, something that had caused a great deal of the problems between Heero and Duo, due to the woman's constant demands on Heero's time. After several ideas, Duo could only come up with one thing the men had in common – him. "That's just dumb," he muttered, taking the pizza from the oven and cutting it into pieces. "Why would they be mad at each other because of me? It has to be something else."

Trowa returned as Duo was setting the table, quiet as always, but with a look of weariness on his face that confused the long-haired man even more. Duo kept his eyes on that face, avoiding any other parts of Trowa's body, mostly bared, as it was every night after the other man showered. Trowa seemed to despise clothes as much as Duo hated shoes, and rarely wore more than a pair of shorts when at home.

Turning the radio on, Duo found a station they normally listened to while eating and sat down at the table, waiting until Trowa sat to serve up the pizza. Hoping to help the tall man relax, Duo brought up a topic unrelated to anything else, "Did I happen to get any mail? I've been waiting on something."

Obviously surprised, Trowa blinked, "I believe you have a letter from Une. I meant to tell you before. Why is Une sending you a letter?"

"Hang on." Jumping from his chair, Duo went to the table beside the front door, grabbing the envelope and rushing back. Sitting down, he ripped it open and read the contents of the letter, concealing his reaction as he held the paper out to the other man.

Frowning, Trowa took the paper and scanned it before looking up, visibly stunned. "You requested to do your internship at the Preventers Medical Facility? Why? You could have chosen anywhere, or just asked Sally directly."

"I wanted to make sure no one could say I got the internship because of special treatment, so I went through the regular channels. As to why," Duo shrugged, aware the main reason was so he could be near Trowa longer. "They have a better trauma staff than anyone else."

"You've received letters from hospitals on L1 and L4 in the last few days, Duo. All from highly respected hospitals in the trauma field. You don't want to go there?"

"They don't all have to be acceptance letters, you know," Duo teased.

Picking up a slice of pizza, Trowa shook his head. "They are. Only a fool would let you get away without a fight." Turning red, the tall man focused on his plate, "It's obvious you are naturally talented when it comes to medicine, and you had field training from a young age. I'm certain all the places you applied are aware of that."

Not letting the comment go to his head, Duo finished off his pizza and reached for another slice. "I want to stay here."

"Any particular reason why?"

"All my friends are here, and it's familiar. I already know most of the staff at the PMF, so that's another bonus."

"You aren't staying to be close to Heero?"

Duo almost choked on his pizza. Taking a few sips of his soda, he shook his head. "I never thought of Heero when I decided to apply for the internship, Trowa. I honestly didn't think about him at all."

Tapping a long finger on the letter, Trowa kept his eyes on the table. "This says you have the option of living in the Preventer apartment complex, with rent taken out of your paycheck. Is that something you want to do?"

Putting his pizza down, Duo swallowed hard. "I hadn't thought about it. If you don't want me here, I can leave. I won't stay in your way." Remembering Heero's request, he stood, appetite gone. "I don't have to stay here. I do have other options," he muttered as he put his plate in the sink, the pizza now in the trash.

"What other options?"

Trowa's voice right behind him had him jumping, whirling around to stare accusingly and blinking when he discovered Trowa was very, very close. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"What other options?"

Deciding it was best to do something to keep himself busy, Duo ran hot water in the sink. "Heero wants me to move back in with him, give things another try, you know? He told me he loved me today. I always thought hearing him say that would make me happy, and it might have, four or five years ago. Now, I don't know what to do. Maybe he'd really be different this time," he added, silently telling himself that he could make it work…somehow. Apparently, he had overstayed his welcome at Trowa's house.

"No."

The one word had Duo turning, staring at the stubborn set on Trowa's face. "No? No, what?"

"No, you aren't moving back in with Heero. No, you aren't moving to the Preventer apartments. No, Heero won't be different. No, you aren't leaving here."

"You can't tell me what to do," Duo retorted angrily.

"You aren't living anywhere but here, if I have to lock you in the damn closet."

Looking up at the other man, Duo stood toe-to-toe with him. "Just because you let me live here you think you have a right to tell me what I can and can't do? I don't think so. If you'll excuse me, it might be best if I leave now, before one of us says something stupid."

Pushing his way past Trowa, Duo was fuming. All anger turned into shock as his arm was grabbed and he was shoved roughly against the wall. "What the hell, Trowa? Let me go."

"You aren't leaving. Especially not to go to him," Trowa glared, showing as much emotion as Duo had ever seen. "I won't let you leave."

Shoving ineffectually at Trowa's chest, the long-haired man found him immovable. "What the hell is your problem with Heero? Why do you hate him so much?"

"He hurt you!" The tall man shook Duo by the arms, green eyes blazing. "He just let you leave. What person is capable of letting someone like you go?"

"Someone like me?" Duo's voice was small, dumbfounded by Trowa's words.

"It took almost two years for me to find you again, hoping for a chance to talk to you. When you told me you needed a place to stay so you could go to school here, I was happy to have you come here. Don't you understand anything? It wasn't coincidence I was at that café – Wufei told me you went there sometimes after class. I waited for days, wondering if you had stopped going."

"You were waiting for me? Why? Did you need help that bad?"

"Duo, I didn't even know you were considering coming back to earth. When you told me, I gave the first reason I could think of to get you to stay with me." Shaking his head, Trowa flung a hand to the side, "Does it really look like I need a lot of help? I enjoy your cooking, and your help, but it's not why I wanted you here, and it has nothing to do with the reason I don't want you to leave."

"I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense."

"For God's sake, why can't you see when everyone else seems to?" Trowa snarled, grabbing Duo's wrists and pinning them against the wall above Duo's head. Duo opened his mouth to complain, only to find it otherwise occupied.

Keeping Duo's hands trapped with one of his own, Trowa's free hand burrowed underneath Duo's shirt, caressing the skin lightly and making the braided man moan in pleasure at the touch. Deciding coherent thoughts weren't possible, and useless while Trowa's tongue was twisting around his, Duo let himself be swept away in the sensations for a long moment, growling when the phone in his pocket began to ring.

"Sorry, sorry," he gasped as Trowa let him go, pulling out the phone and staring at it in surprise. "Maybe I should let it go to voicemail."

"Heero again, so soon?"

Although Trowa had retreated a step and let go of Duo's hands, the touch on Duo's side remained, stroking up and down in a seemingly absent motion. It wasn't hard to see the slight narrowing of emerald eyes, or the way slender fingers stopped for an instant before resuming. Duo nodded, breathing a sigh of relief as the phone stopped ringing, cringing when it began again immediately. "I guess he really wants an answer. I thought he would wait for a little while before demanding a response."

"Perhaps you should give him one," Trowa stated, lowering his head and kissing Duo softly once, twice, making his head swim. "I want you to remember that I want you here. If you think you can have feelings for me at all, stay with me - not as a roommate, but a lover." After one last lingering kiss, Trowa stepped away with clear regret. "I'll leave you to take your call. I'm going to bed. I hope you'll join me."

Following Trowa with his eyes until the tall man had left the room, Duo wanted his heart to slow down soon or he was going to pass out. The incessant ringing of his phone had him answering with a growl, "You couldn't even wait one day, could you?"

"I think I deserve an answer. It can't be such a difficult decision."

The gruff tone had Duo realizing Heero hadn't changed at all. Looking at the ceiling, he thought of the man upstairs, waiting for him, as it appeared he had been for a while. "You still expect me to fall in line with whatever you plan, happy for the tiniest bit of approval, don't you, Heero? You haven't changed."

"I said I love you. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Not a damn thing, to be honest. Words are cheap. All I wanted before was to know you loved me, but you never showed me you did, and that would have been enough without the words. Some things can be said without actually saying them," he mused, recalling all the times Trowa had gone out of his way to bring home something from the store Duo had mentioned in passing, or the way the tall man always let Duo have control of the remote. They were small things, but when added together with dozens of other things, they could only mean one thing.

"Trowa said something to make you not want to come back to me, didn't he?"

"He hasn't said anything about you, Heero. He's never said anything to make you look bad. I'm staying here."

There was a short pause before the other man made a suggestion, "You could continue to live there while we tried dating."

"Heero, you and I are over. We have been for a long time, but now it's official. I'd like to remain friends; we've been through a lot together. It would be a shame to lose that."

"You…have feelings for him, don't you?"

Duo wouldn't lie, no matter how tempting it was. "Yeah, I do. There's something here, Heero. I want a chance to find out what it could be."

A soft laugh came over the line. "I think I already knew what your answer would be. As much as it pains me to admit it, you'll be good together. Trowa has cared about you for a long time. It might be why I over-reacted."

Stunned by the admission, Duo shook his head, "Under the circumstances, I think we should skip lunch for a few weeks."

"You want to make sure Trowa is okay with us having lunch together. I don't blame you. It's a good idea. A few weeks should be enough time for me to adjust my way of thinking…again."

Hanging up the phone moments later, Duo didn't hesitate to leave it on the counter and go in search of his roommate. He found Trowa just where the other man had said he'd be, in his room, sitting on the bed with an anxious expression that disappeared as soon as his eyes fell on Duo. Duo stared in awe as he took in the soft glow lighting the room, coming from several candles, giving it a warm and romantic ambiance, something he hadn't expected.

The gesture was thoughtful and so completely Trowa. Duo moved across the room, keeping his gaze on the green eyes watching him warily. Stopping at the side of the bed, he looked down at the other man. "You love me, don't you?"

"Yes." Trowa's reply was immediate and unashamed. Standing, he framed Duo's face with warm hands. "I've been waiting for a chance to show you how I feel, Duo. Do you think you could feel anything for me?"

"I already do," the braided man admitted, smiling when Trowa's eyes widened. "That's why I wanted to stay and intern with the Preventers rather than go somewhere else." Placing his hands over Trowa's, he winced, "Can you tell me, just once? I know you don't talk about feelings and stuff, but I'd like to hear you say it."

"I have a hard time putting things into words at times, but this is easy. I love you. I will always love you."

"You don't have to tell me all the time or anything, you know. You show me how you feel in a thousand other ways. I don't know how I didn't see it before." Shaking his head, he winced, "I didn't let myself see it before. Now that I do, I don't intend to let you go."

After kissing Duo gently, Trowa chuckled deep in his throat, "It's good you plan to stay. It would have been hard to explain why I kept you locked up in the closet."


End file.
